May 11, 2017

I like the last semester of life, just think when reading a few days ago also think so. Xianlin go to class twice a week, especially Friday, to get up early (many times I have been the first man out of the dormitory), buy a snow shavings in a cafeteria, a steak and a glass of milk, eat while walking to catch the morning school bus. Early morning campus, not many pedestrians, only my aunt's morning exercise, even in the cold winter wind, but also no less enthusiastic. In school car to pick a good seat, put on a mask, plug in headphones, listen to songs while sleeping, and sometimes can not sleep, I looked out the window passing shops, cars and trees, let your thoughts drift freely. Spend time at night go to the library and look like people read novels, and pretended to do the math to see not understand the math, the headphones are always circulating Beatles songs, from early evening to hear . I miss living in, if not happiness, I felt very full, like a stray boat to see the lighthouse. Of course, we must pass the math exam more or less enriched my life, although only started back problem before the exam, but usually are copied someone else's work. Although this semester is also urging the paper, but then no thoughts, life is like a broken kite. I ah, have to rely on others, must be in the hands of others, to fall in love with life, that I knew a long time ago. So a person, I never seem to go less than life.

All night, I just borrowed the chance to read the last two chapters, is not bear to read on, read or can not concentrate, I'm not sure. This youth novel, even though there is a great distance with my life, can always cause some reverie. For he did not experienced the sad and romantic life, inevitably, there is a yearning. On the more delicate brush strokes, to create a good atmosphere, some sentences like, very poetic, as if seen elsewhere. For example, "Those empty seats like never read thick books," such as "feet stepping on the ground to move forward, I feel like reading a book." The novel's protagonist is a student at the University of art, nature makes this book bring a richer culture. Inscription is Valery's poem "The fate of the young goddess" in the first few lines, yesterday I got to read a little, a little long due, did not finish, did not understand, later read it several times. Zheng Yun read Emily Dickinson poem in the first chapter, read Rilke's "Malte Notes", so I borrowed the latter, is also prepared to read, I have long wanted to read the Rilke this can be considered a turning point now. Chapter II Professor Yin Christopher's story, not Roman Roman's novel during the class, but the religion of Jesus carrying the story of the giant river. Everyone is both a negative whole world Christophe across the river, but also the whole world in Christophe V back across the river. Zheng Yun hit the typewriter letter Van Gogh wrote to his brother, read fragments of the letter, I was hit inexplicably touched, "Today, I no longer powerless in the face of nature," Van Gogh wrote in a letter. I suddenly thought, if you can uncover their own scars, and then sewn back, life will no longer be afraid of it. This chapter has students Rimbaud's words quoted at time of discussions, "the world's most chic is to drink cheap wine, drink drunk, and then lying on the sea bed." I do not like to drink, but still want to look good source of this sentence. Life can be very simple reason for it? Just because I have not read the book written in Korean, so I read "Where is my phone ringing came looking for" the same book?

Zheng Yun this name, I can not but think, "I'm sorry, I love you" in the Cui Yun, en color "Yun Yun na na" sound easily echoed in my ears. I really like the name of Li Dai "allow" or "promise", and reminds me of the promise, the promise of such words, really good word.

May 13, 2017

Today I read the book a long time, seen from the third chapter Chapter VIII, because there are a lot of time. Shin Kyung-sook's novel, I'm going to read, and tomorrow will be watching, because I do not want to write papers thanks and preparation of the defense, do not want to see the code, you can only read. The novel, and "Norwegian Wood" is very similar to the style and the content is similar, even strokes, and the atmosphere is similar. I can not say which is better, or two very general. I still only see Yin Lai suicide, doused with gasoline, set yourself on fire, jumped from the tenth floor, desperate search for the missing lovers, but also a strong protest against the government of secretly under the black hand. Such suicide, too cruel, too poignant. There are two people to commit suicide, tomorrow will see. Sometimes, I really do not know whether to look preface it?

May 14, 2017

Today wake up very early, not eight o'clock. Last night probably around half past one to sleep, go to bed when I want to, I want to end this "both want to sleep to go, did not want to wake up" life, I want to start a healthy rest. Because, no matter how I wayward, tomorrow it will not postpone the arrival of the pace, I could not sleep, and will eventually wake up. Lai bed not too long, nor too long to stay in the dorm, I bought a hamburger, drink and went to the library. A reason to buy, because the distance from the cafeteria to the library just enough for me to eat a.

Much of the rest of the book, quickly read, Dan bizarre deaths, it should be a suicide, he could not find the meaning of life, love is also not allowed, the childhood feelings, not to love it . Mei Lu committed suicide, anorexia, so she will write down their own food eaten. Mei Lu does not seem to live for themselves, and she has been living in the shadow of her sister, the sister of accidental injury to a child causing her knee ballet and can no longer blame for her sister in front of their own suicide and despair, of course, is unable to communicate the pain of love and Professor Yin. Times destroyed "the man" Lai did ballet as beloved as "the man" died ruined My Lai, Lai's death has ruined the beauty of reed. Brutal era deepened the confusion and pain of youth, love and personal ideals become fragile. So, some people choose to death, some people choose to live, and allow Mingrui is the latter. The translator said in the preface people MINGRUI heart really love is beautiful reed, but I did not read this meaning. Mingrui not allowed to live together and, although they have had so many "Do not forget today's" days, he said so many times, "I find you," the agreement. I also do not understand the kind of relationship between them, did not understand the meaning of the end. So, after reading, I did not hurry to return the book, or stay with me, though not to see a second time, but at least remind me to think. At noon I lay in bed, I recall those painful detail in the book, like to recall the drama of the plot, but I kept thinking, fell asleep.