(1)

Before that I was born a few years ago among six years, the father of contemporary class teacher in middle school the first in our county, is 49.5 yuan a month's wages. In the absence of certain relationships, and therefore it can not be around the corner, which is compiled. Father was reading the correspondence college, majoring in accounting, back and read correspondence college, read a total of about six or seven years, beginning 60 yuan per year, then 90 per year, count the cost of transportation, textbooks, fees or not low . Father smoked a pack of cigarettes from 5 to 10 dollars, until I was a child my father was still pumping the smoke, I remember very clearly, it was hard pack, white box of Stone Forest. At that time my neighbor, is one of my tables uncle, my father said: you smoke this cigarette, since it pits? My father said: I smoke light, or else really can not afford to smoke ah.

Mother pig at home. Every spring catch pigs, with vegetables, soybean, breeding and other rubbish, to fall to sell. Pigs either spend money, either to the relatives. By selling these pigs, the family bought a black and white TV, washing machine and twenty-eight bike. Twenty-eight bicycles purchased in 1984, is a large pig money, three hundred. Black and white TV + washing machine, purchased in 1989, are three large pig money. At that time things although expensive, but the quality really did not have to say than 28 bikes to still use. Although out of the black and white TV, but lacks quality problems. When the washing machine is actually drying barrel is broken, repair n times to buy a new washing machine back, trade-in discount sold. However, new washing machine, Oh, I will mention it later.

(2)

Twenty-eight mother riding a bike, dragged behind two big baskets, go to a place where workers go to work to sell. About 16 kilometers from my home there. That place has coal mines, to the working hours, workers everywhere. Many workers will go to the jolly side of the market is extremely strong. Mother told me about a man selling vegetables beside her, put good food sold to the workers, but bad food sold at the original price skillfully elderly. His mother asked him: "? It decent conscience," the man said: "Conscience value of some money?"

Sometimes those workers do not look at the road cycling, and there are times mother almost suddenly rushed to the bike hit. Because behind two big baskets, can not get off, and then the car down, stuck in the basket on the road, the car does not fall partially collapsed. There are times under heavy rain, muddy road, the mother can not go up the car, next to a passing man, told his mother:. "You get on the train, I zhu you a" mother then put his right leg across to the other side of the car, the man to previous zhu, mother riding up.

At that time, she would sell his mother from dawn to dusk. Day dawn left, after 10:30 at night to get home. Father carrying a flashlight waiting outside. Like there is not a TV drama performance as the mother worried about security, but his father was waiting for his mother to go home to cook.

Then, she was whining, whining, if you appear in front of her, she did not play no nagging, nagging can for several days. After the events of the past, if we have anything or say anything, even with a mention about it, she would nag a few days.

(3)

Father and mother never met before, they suffer from kidney stones. As mentioned before, eat traditional Chinese medicine from the urine of his father, his grandmother boil. When the ten days after the father and mother of a family, father hospitalized. Boil medicine of the task, but also to take up by the mother.

Mother to his father soup medicine, is commonplace. Kidney stones, kidney, deficiency, ...... countless size of the problem, by decoction to resolve. The last time, not like now. Now general pharmacy, machine-to Aohao and automatically dispensed into the bag, the bag home with hot water line. In the past, it is the doctor with a packet of another package wrapped in paper, aluminum pots or copper pots home with their own suffering.

Boil medicine to live, his father never did. Therefore, in addition to the mother grow vegetables, vegetables, pigs, but also to cook, Aoyao. When I was little, one day, I have to sleep. At that time my father was not home yet. Middle of the night, my mother was awakened by a loud whining sound, my mother was suffering medicine, his mouth is not idle chatter. Father lying next to me, silent.

(4)

From my parents to form a family, to my birth, an interval of six years.

After my mother was married here, there are passing fortune teller, my mother said:. "You can not have children, you have to get married after six years in order to have children," parents are not convinced, look for traditional Chinese medicine, Western medicine to find, tie acupuncture, medicine, but not the mother is pregnant with their child.

But, really as a fortune teller said parents after six years of marriage, I was reborn over.

After I was born, I have very strange problems, not feeding. Around other people also have been the case. If this is not feeding the occurrence of mad are three days or seven days throw. If left untreated, over three days, I will go mad; over seven days, and I will die. So the family brought in the old village of Liang Taitai (died a few years ago), she will give children an acupuncture treatment, treatment of children through her hands were healed. Give me the old Liang Taitai tie, tied up, and I cry not only normal, but also know the nurse.

Northeast has three strange: the windows papered out, the girl dangling from a large pipe, the raising of a child hung up. My family has a cradle, and now are placed inside the barn, but not the original appearance of the year. The cradle, hanging in the rafters of my home. My house used to be thatched house, before I was born, the grass on the house removed, replaced with black tiles. So, for my own childhood memories, there is no impression of thatched houses. The most important structure of the house is the beam. Every household, cover the main house, on the beam, when things have to do, put banquet.

(5)

My house is two, is the outhouse door, there is a stove. There is a back room south kang. When I was young, my father and mother were photographed holding photos. I judge according to the photo, it's not in the South kang shot. I later learned that there back room of South and North kang kang. Behind the North kang chops, because then burn a wood fire kang need more, but the lack of firewood at home.

Before I was born, for many reasons, his father left the county middle school the first. At that time the main reasons are: no substitute teacher preparation, and no longer need a substitute teacher; his father a man too affordable, not smooth life skills; school serious internal strife; and so on. After leaving the county middle school the first in 1989 to the village accountant. At that time wage accounting, it is 70?f the village chief, secretary salary, annual salary 1,200 yuan. However, his father took only 300 dollars a year to the family. Other money in the end is not in town to send, or was it took my father, I have so far unknown.

The village of irregular working hours, sometimes busy, sometimes free, leisure time can engage in other industries, but must be allowed to leave the village. Village secretary (in 2001 died of lung cancer at the age of nominal age 53 years) kept a car, by a series of things, sold the car, then what do I know; Laozhang Ren home village and his relatives kept a few big partnerships car, unlucky mine. The key problem is that he, as mayor, but do not keep doing the moral of luck on coal, which is well-known means: reselling 1 ton, but let consignee referred to as 3 tons, 5 tons or 10 tons, which this is one reason why we drink a state-run factory 2002 collapse. It may be secular newspaper, and now he was 60 years old and unable to walk because of cerebral thrombosis, gray-haired, part of their savings at home to Xi'an marrying the eldest daughter of the dry individual, but also spent 20 million dollars to buy a second daughter three hospital nurses (nurses) work, even if the rest of the more, for them, how can like it.

However, the father was no longer thinking about some money from elsewhere, despite their own conscience do not earn much, but more or less also can earn. Frail father, living in rural areas need to cut firewood, he did not go. Home did not burn, and went to my grandmother (grandmother) to go home, or let my grandfather deceives, or spend money. The thing I will mention later, the first will not elaborate here.

There was no money, my father borrow. The main pipe grandparents father to borrow money to borrow. Since uncle was working in grain storage, welfare, benefits are good in the eyes of grandparents alluding to his father's poor. Grandmother at this time, in addition to lend money to the father, the daughter will take it out on, bad attitude about my mother. The relationship between the father's side take over, take no more go borrow mother's side of the relationship.

Before I was born, my father had had typhoid, infectious diseases at the county hospital for treatment. Requirements renewals, the mother ride home, in the car pushed at the door, go home after everywhere to borrow money. Grandparents do not lend money to the mother, the mother went to desperation by a neighbor, relatives and neighbors Xiamou Laozhang Ren home, just stopping over that time, immediately after I heard the mother lent some money, said: help matters.

Once a child is notified of vaccination (ie, vaccination), requires 3.5 yuan (1990-- after 1991 years ago), there was no money, my father let my mother go to borrow money to give me a shot. Mother to manage my grandmother to borrow money, give me a shot.

(6)

Putuo Mountain in Zhejiang Buddhist College faculty, I looked contemporary authors Yu Chen Zhan empty, this passage in the article, "the first warm life lonely (on)" are:

Psychological trauma between 3 to 6 years old can be analyzed to heal through understanding, and desperate mother-infant relationship usually takes several years or even decades of counseling to the initial warm lonely life. Yes, the relationship between mother and child before the age of 3, is more important. Irritable, personality disorders and mood disorders mother for a baby shaping personality is simply ill, many people are not aware of this. After the children's mother took such great growth, we will continue to repeat the mother's life and character, intensified, or even a lifetime can not heal.

And my mother, she is such a character. I can understand the causes for this character can not mother about, but brought me harm, and therefore the consequences caused, can not understand healing. If someone has gone through the same thing and I, I feel sympathy for him (her), also for his (her) could not make their real voices regret. But not to say that someone has gone through the same thing and I am, therefore I can heal.

Before I was 3 years old, my mother why we would treat me with such an attitude? She is wrong?