Nine classic quotes from the job fair:

1. "will you confess or not?"
A company pays a lot of money, the booth is crowded, and many applicants are turned down directly. A man cut his way through the crowd, squeezed to the table, waved his fists and roared: "do you want to talk or not?"

2. "there is no room for a big Bodhisattva in a small temple."
went to the job fair with his classmates. They both joined the same company, but they didn't seem to be interested. When he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, did not know Tarzan and could not see his strengths. I sneered: "people are well-informed, how can not see your strengths?" It's just that people don't think your strengths are long enough. " He was stupefied, and then retorted, "Don't you have the same result?"

I replied, "Why am I like you?" Didn't you hear what they said to me at last? " I cleared my throat: "people say: there is no room for a big Bodhisattva in a small temple!"

3. "two-way Choice"
go to the job fair and send your resume when you see the booth. One of the booths really did not have a vote, so he directly voted for a vice president. The recruiter MM looked at me and said, "do you think we can give this company to you right now?" I said, "what is there to worry about? we have a two-way choice!"

4. Br> when I applied for a job in a foreign company, I was asked why I chose it. I went so far as to say, "the teacher is good at controlling Yi." So he was kicked out on the spot.

5. "Boss, do you want to hire a small worker?"
although I only want to be a small worker, I have to dress up if I want to look for a job in the largest job market in Beijing. You can't make a fool of yourself in public. So I went on my way wearing a suit and tie and shining my shoes brightly. When we arrived at the talent market, there was only a sea of people, airtight. I didn't squeeze in, thinking, "with my condition, finding a small job is a piece of cake!" So I waited and waited until the sun went down, and no one came to recruit me. As soon as it was almost over, a man came over quickly. I quickly arranged my hair. As long as he opened his mouth, I agreed to any condition.

he came and said only one sentence: "Boss, do you want to hire a part-time worker?"

6. "We don't want notebooks"

came to the job fair and piously handed over a pile of well-crafted and laser-printed resumes. The other person hit rock bottom with a sentence: "Sorry, we want resumes, not notebooks!"

7. "afraid of not staying"

A female classmate was so excellent that she made us feel ashamed, but she had the worst experience of applying for a job and was repeatedly rejected. Cadres of the student union have published several papers and won scholarships every year. Such an excellent student, but repeatedly failed, each of us is very puzzled, she also does not understand: what is the standard for selecting people in the unit now?

once, she finally couldn't help calling the office to ask why she was rejected. The other party was very calm: "you are such an excellent student, we are afraid we can not keep!" Moreover, if you go abroad in only a few days, we will waste a recruitment quota. "

8. "are you from a famous university?"

Last November, I learned that a job fair for news system talents was held in Shanghai, so I rushed there non-stop. For fear of crumpling on the train in a suit, I hung a coat brace and carried it in my hand. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change my clothes, arranged my hair and went straight to the job fair. There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one by one. Unexpectedly, the other party examined his resume, looked up blankly and asked me, "are you from a famous university?" I wish I could tell her the glorious school history of nearly a hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared.

9. "say something!"

A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview. I nervously handed over my resume. The entrepreneur asked nothing else but said, "tell a joke!" After snorting for a long time, I finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper said to him," We have three parrots. The blue one speaks four languages and sells for 1000 yuan. The red one can speak six languages and sells for 3000 yuan. The yellow one can't talk and sells for 5000 yuan. 'How did this happen?' The man exclaimed,'it doesn't know anything!' 'that 's right, 'the shopkeeper explained.' we don't know, but the other two call it the boss.'" After speaking, I turned blue and knew it was over this time!

-from: network-